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Friday, Oct. 20, 2006 | Christmas is still one of my favorite holidays. I get a bonus, a day off and, if I’m lucky, a stocking stuffed with triglyceride-laden goodies.
But lately Halloween is coming in a close second and I think it’s because it allows me to be a kid more than Christmas. After all, the idea of Dec. 25 is to promote peace on Earth and goodwill towards men and, frankly, that thought makes me crankier than usual.
Another reason why I like Halloween is that it allows me to get away with stuff as a parent than at any other time of year would have child services breathing down my throat. Things like scaring my kids or giving them too much candy or walking around with fake blood on my face.
I’m not alone. Business experts say that Halloween is transitioning from a one-night affair to a month-long shebang. And when you live in so close to Mexico, you’re able to stretch your skulls one day longer if you celebrate the Day of the Dead.
No wonder so many makers of consumer products are trying to scare up business during the month of October. Some of the weirder items that have been haunting me include…
Most people have noticed the similarity between bald headed men and follicly challenged babies but most hair companies have focused on the comb over crowd which, sadly, tends to die out.
However, a Summerland, California-based company is on a youth-oriented mission by selling wigs for toddlers under the brand name BabyToupee.
The wigs are designed for kids 9 months and younger because, a company spokesman admits, “when they get older than that, they can pull them off.”
There are four wig styles currently available, including a pink wig &aagrave; la recently jailed rapper Lil’ Kim; an afro wig styled after Samuel L. Jackson’s jheri curled wig in Pulp Fiction; a Rastafarian wig dedicated to Bob Marley; and for upwardly mobile yuppie kids, a Donald Trump-styled comb over.
I admit the idea of a baby wig shocked me but I was more shocked that my six-month-old son had such a big head he could only wear the Marley wig. I was most shocked when I took him to OB in it and at least five people asked if he was holding.
Another costume idea for kids is the Superman Inflato-Suit, which fits snugly under a kid’s street clothes until he needs to defend truth, justice and the American way. Then, he or she can inflate the suit so that it swells up with air filled muscles that are worthy of Barry Bonds (and just about as durable).
The padding looks great but it obviously doesn’t defend the body from speeding bullets. In fact, a neighbor kid who tried on the costume for research admitted it didn’t protect him from his little sister’s punches either.
Halloween is supposed to be fun and games but, of course, some folks try to ruin a good thing by making it, ugh, educational. “The Bones Book and Skeleton” (Workman) explains how bones work and why and comes with a mini-skeleton that can easily be assembled.
My daughter, Alex, doesn’t read yet but she has enjoyed looking at the skeleton and singing, “The leg bone’s connected to the knee bone” (the only line of “Dem Bones” she knows) over and over again.
Some people try to claim that Halloween is for kids but my favorite Halloween product is strictly for adults. It’s a brand of beer sold at Whole Foods called Dead Guy Ale.
Although there are other Halloween-themed brews (including some pumpkin ales), Dead Guy Ale not only has an appropriately spooky name, and it has a little something extra.
When the beer is poured in a glass and exposed to light, it actually glows in the dark. That’s pretty useful. No longer do I need a flashlight to find my car before going home after a costume party, my beer will light the way.
However, as I don’t have access to an X-ray machine as I am not Tom Cruise, so I don’t know if the beer continues to glow when it’s in the stomach. But I do know I have a glow on my face.