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City Councilwoman Donna Frye and her chief of staff, Steven Hadley, went to the closed shores of Fiesta Island last night and by a lantern’s light, used a rake and shovel to break open the mysterious waste that’s washing up.

Some of the mysterious stuff is dollar-pancake-sized clumps of paper, confirming earlier reports. “When you broke it open had black innards,” Frye said.

But it’s not all paper. Some of the stuff is inexplicably mysterious. “There aren’t enough adjectives to do it justice,” Frye said.

She tried anyway. She said:

It is an unknown source that resembles a variety of shapes ranging anywhere from the back end of a turkey to the ventricles of a cow. If cows have ventricles it’s what they’d look like. With orange starfish-like tops, and gelatinous, floaty, stinky, blobular, stink bombs, I mean, I don’t know. It’s like nothing I’ve ever seen. And there’s more than one.

One of the stink bombs is sitting in a bag at City Hall. Frye invited anyone who wanted to see it to come on down.

She said:

You would want to wear a mask and gloves. Who would believe this? It’s outer space-like. It’s a science experiment gone terribly wrong. And I’ve done a lot of beach combing.

The blobs wash in with the tide. Frye is expecting a lab report back this afternoon diagnosing what the blobs may be. We’ll have more when she does. We’ve also dispatched our photographer, Sam Hodgson, to the scene.

The county has closed water access in the area because bacteria levels are excessively high.

ROB DAVIS

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