Want the news summarized?
Subscribe to The Morning Report.

Wednesday, Nov. 22, 2006 | Tomorrow is Thanksgiving but I’m really giving thanks to the day after.

That’s because the Friday after Thanksgiving is traditionally my day off from parenting.

My wife is a veteran shopper and she always meets up with my in-laws for a traditional day of “Black Friday” shopping that often goes into the wee hours.

It’s OK honey, I tell her. I know that shopping is important to you. Take all the time you need.

Yes, all the time you need.

I’ve been planning what to do on Dad’s Day Off for a few months now.

Ideally, I’d like it to be like one of the montages in an Elvis movie where the King goes from water skiing to piloting a helicopter to dancing all night in some swanky club.

Of course, it never turns out that way.

Most likely, I’ll spend extra time perusing sports websites to see if anyone says anything nice about the Chargers. This year, they just might.

Oh, and then, I’ll check my e-mail.

I’ll probably try to catch up on the daytime talk shows that I usually miss because I’m at work. For example, I hear Maury Povich is going to give DNA tests to guys who want to know if they are really the father of their girlfriend’s baby.

At some point, I think I’ll go play frisbee golf at Morley Field. If you haven’t played, you should try it. Just not on my day off – the course is crowded enough as it is.

Oh, and then, I’ll check my e-mail.

Part of me wants to hike up Cowles Mountain but the other part wants to take a long nap while watching a cheesy TV-movie starring Tori Spelling on Lifetime.

When I’m not checking my e-mail.

Although I’m supposed to be eating leftovers, don’t be surprised if I end up at some dive eating things that will boost my cholesterol. Burgers, fries, hot wings, carnitas – it’s all good (but bad for my heart).

I wonder if the Longhorn Cafe has a Wi-Fi connection.

Part of me thinks I should see a movie. I may see “For Your Consideration,” a comedy by Christopher Guest about Oscar hype or I may try to see “Borat.” I don’t like seeing comedies by myself.

You see, I’m not a loud laugher and I always fear that someone connected with the film will come in for a peek, not hear loud chuckles from me and get their feelings hurt.

Although I’d like to see “Borat,” the movie’s fans scare me. When people quote from a movie extensively, it usually means that by the time I see it, the movie won’t be a surprise. It also means I usually find it lame. Nobody quotes “Citizen Kane” but it’s a great movie. I know all the lines from “Plan 9 From Outer Space” – and it’s the worst movie of all time.

Maybe I’ll take my freedom from being a dad seriously and walk into a bar at 6 a.m. and start drinking.

Or maybe I won’t. I’ve always wanted to do that but I’m saving that for when I turn 70 – I need something to look forward to.

David Moye is a La Mesa-based writer who loves getting e-mail from fans and foes – but not on Friday. That’s his day off. Send a letter to the editor here.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.