City redevelopment officials think they may have finally found a place to house the homeless. They’ll just need an act of Congress and maybe a supply of Dramamine.

Officials are meeting with the Navy to discuss converting a decommissioned warship into a permanent shelter for the homeless.

It sounds like a long shot, and Congress would have to allow a new use for warships. There’d also be plenty of logistical issues to work out too. But maybe, just maybe, this ship might come in.

Elsewhere, Monday spelled mystery. Our first stop: The Curious Case of the Slows.

One thousand days after voters passed it, the city’s outsourcing program remains in the future tense, and Councilman Carl DeMaio is not happy.

Outsourcing “was supposed to open up city services to outside, private vendors and potentially drive down costs, but not one city program or function has faced the music to date.”

Even so, the city has spent $124,000 to place employees on something called “negotiation leave” — time to discuss how managed competition might work.

On to our next mystery: The Case of the Vanishing Apartments.

The snazzy Porto Vista Hotel and Suites building in Little Italy was supposed to have both hotel rooms and apartments, but the latter seemed to be missing. It mattered because the developer had promised to provide affordable housing, and hotel rooms don’t exactly fit the bill. (They’re nice places to visit, but you wouldn’t want to live there. Well, OK, maybe you would.)

Our ace reporter/private-eye wannabe Kelly Bennett sleuthed around but detected no sign of any actual apartments.

Now, the plot has thickened. The city says that there are — surprise! — actual apartments in the building.

There’s no mystery about our next topic: Bob Tugenberg and his love for Chula Vista.

A transplant from Chicago, Tugenberg was endlessly fascinated by his adopted hometown, forever driving out to discover new nooks and crannies.

The former planning commissioner passed away recently, leaving his loved ones to fondly remember an inquisitive man who knew no borders and found beauty in the city named for its pretty view.

In other news, a college student will challenge a veteran San Diego school board member, and the local Caltrans district director is moving on (and making more).

In a follow-up to Sunday’s “People at Work” story about a hot-air balloon pilot, we look back at previous profile subjects, including a camp counselor and funeral director.

Elsewhere, the LA Times discovers there’s a fuss over seals in La Jolla. (Good gracious. Someone alert the media!) And the NY Times notes that no one seems to have the foggiest idea why crime rates are dropping during the recession.

San Diego fits with the trend: crime is falling here too, by a stunning 16.3 percent from the first half of last year to the same period this year.

That’s one downward trend we can actually appreciate.

RANDY DOTINGA

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