Here’s a look at 2014’s local notables at their most quotable.
Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Militarized Bear …
“There will be medical supplies in the vehicle. There will be teddy bears in the vehicle. There will be trauma kits in the vehicle in the event any student is injured, and our officers are trained to give first aid and CPR.” — Ruben Littlejohn, police chief for the San Diego Unified School District, on its new mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle, which it ultimately returned.
The man who gave his name to teddy bears put it best: Speak softly and carry a big mine-resistant ambush protected vehicle.
Do As I Say, Not As You Rap
“It’s important for the community to understand that this case is not about punishing someone for rapping and it’s not about a First Amendment issue.” — The district attorney’s office statement defending charges against a rapper for rapping in a case that’s about the First Amendment.
My clever rap response awaits full vetting by legal.
The DeMaio Follies, 2014 Edition
• “I don’t throw my staff under the bus.” — Congressional candidate Carl DeMaio, before sacking two campaign staffers after a plagiarism scandal.
Geez. As if public transit doesn’t have enough problems.
• “Take that [bad word] out of your mouth and send me some goddamn money!!!!” — An excerpt from a fundraising email sent to a company by a dummy email account associated with the DeMaio congressional campaign.
Besides being obscene and inappropriate, this message lacks faith in the powers of multitasking.
• “This ‘fat’ lady has sung.” — Kate Lyon, a staff member for Rep. Scott Peters, in tweet when her candidate won. Peters’ rival, DeMaio, had allegedly emailed staff members a photo of a revealing photo of an obese woman whom he compared to Lyon.
Somebody had better get DeMaio a fork for that crow.
At Least the Guy’s Feet Are Where They Belong
“Maybe at home on the phone he can help me, but boots on the ground? Well, he’s in a wheelchair.” — Oceanside Mayor Jim Wood, during his failed run for county supervisor, on one reason he parted ways with his former campaign manager.
Where’s that bus when you need it?
Meet Principal O-My-Gosh
“I thought it would be best if I went on to a different path instead of having to interface with these weak teachers, these empty vessels that make the most noise and bully other people.” — Esther Omogbehin, “Dr. O,” on stepping down as principal of troubled Lincoln High.
Still, we’d pay to see that “interfacing.”
When You Wish Upon a Podium
“I don’t think this is my last time that I’ll be serving in this role.” — Councilman Todd Gloria on his stint as interim mayor.
Always the groomsman, never the groom? We think he says neigh and has something more permanent in mind.
No Go, Daddy-O!
“The San Diegans, led by a real estate developer and U-T co-owner who refers to himself as ‘Papa Doug’ Manchester, particularly scared Globe newsroom staffers … During the U-T San Diego presentation, people who were in the room attest, Manchester at one point instructed [Globe editor Brian] McGrory to call him ‘Papa Doug.’ McGrory did not call him Papa Doug.” — Boston Magazine on Manchester’s failed bid for the Boston Globe.
Too bad. The Boston Globe newspaper office really needs its own vintage car museum.
In Short, We’ll Wait Forever
“It’s taking too long. It always takes too long. It will always take too long.” — City spokesman Bill Harris on the city’s process for assessing crumbling infrastructure.
This is so reminiscent of the famous Julius Caesar quote: I came, I saw, I waited around for the proper budgetary processing and environmental review.
Yeah, Yeah, What’s Your Point?
A “self-important troll” and “bloviating nitwit” who’s “dough-faced” with “the back-patting superiority of a third-grade know-it-all.” — CityBeat columnist Aaryn Belfer, describing Voice of San Diego contributor and Morning Report scribe Randy Dotinga.
Wrong! In fact, my face is just big-boned.