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Maybe you haven’t had time to read our epic account of the life and death of Tiara Gray, a sailor stationed in San Diego. (You should. People have called it “superb” and “heart-wrenching.”) If not, we got you. Here are three takeaways.
Background: Tiara was experiencing serious mental health struggles. Navy doctors had hospitalized her twice. But then her command began sending her on underways again onboard the Essex — the very thing that had triggered and exacerbated her mental health struggles. She took her own life on board the Essex on April 2, 2018.
Takeaway one: The military is in a recruitment crisis. That means there’s a huge incentive for recruiters to get people into the military — and for officers to make sure they stay in. Especially when a sailor is bright and skilled, as Tiara was, commanders frequently try to keep those people in. Tiara also lied about previous mental health issues during the recruitment process. It’s common for recruiters to aid people in glossing over certain facts. As one recruiter told the Military Times: “What it takes to get in the Army is, quite frankly, a lot of fraud and perjury.”
Takeaway two: Tiara saw more than 25 different licensed Navy therapists in less than a year. Her care was chaotic. Her providers at times seemed to be working off of totally different information. Some marked her a “high” risk for suicide; others marked her “low.” Some doctors marked her not fit for duty. Others, who saw her no more than one time, marked her as fit for full duty. This lack of communication — and lack of baseline factual information — played a role in sending her back out to sea.
Takeaway three: The Navy psychologists Tiara saw have to serve two masters, in a way that is not true of other mental health providers. They must serve the patient and the needs of the Navy. Commanding officers are allowed to view many parts of a person’s file. They’re allowed to weigh in on whether that person should be sent back to work or not. “You can have a commander that says, ‘We really wanna keep this person,’” one expert said. “You can hear those directions like they’re an order, even if they’re not.”
Suicide rates among women in the Navy are at a crisis level, as we reported in 2022. Young women in the military are more than twice as likely to die by suicide than their civilian peers.
Tiara’s story struck a chord with other service members. In the r/Navy community on Reddit, the story is one of the top posts of the week and hundreds of people have weighed in — including a few who say they knew Tiara. “It is clear this woman was failed by leadership and medical at almost every step,” one person wrote.
